If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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