can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
