tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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