Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
