i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
