do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
