By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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