the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
