Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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