and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
