let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize