she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
