All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So many bounce houses so little time
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
