how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
