it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
