Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
