Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
