Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We don't watch enough power rangers
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
