my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
