dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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