i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
