I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
