Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
And then he peed in my hair
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