So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
