never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
