I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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