dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
