Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
did i just pee glitter
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
