I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize