I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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