every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
