please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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