there's paper in my vomit.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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