no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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