I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
