Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
