What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
