He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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