So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize