He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
