I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
