I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
