i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
