why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
