Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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