Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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