Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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