Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
