he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
