tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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