I'm lost and stupid without you.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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