If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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