ADVERTISEMENT

• (314): View more from Missouri

  Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl

  Fav 43 3061 946

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.

  Fav 20 866 3979

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (254): View more from Texas

  oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick

  Fav 13 3750 1336

  share tweet
  

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...

  Fav 17 2622 1280

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.

  Fav 11 4041 1083

  share tweet
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.

  Fav 12 2803 1624

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."

  Fav 5 2961 1645

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?

  Fav 8 2262 1258

  share tweet
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.

  Fav 5 2210 699

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.

  Fav 10 1239 821

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.

  Fav 3 1022 1241

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (907): View more from Alaska

  Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.

  Fav 5 925 519

  share tweet
  

• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal

  Fav 9 1014 554

  share tweet
  

• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me

  Fav 4 953 691

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (786): View more from Florida

  I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.

  Fav 0 336 408

  share tweet
  

Randomize