Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.