Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.