Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.

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  (410): Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer. http://tfl.nu/2her
  Replies (4) Good night (718) Bad night (829)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person

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  (813): Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person http://tfl.nu/pnlg
  Replies (55) Good night (3442) Bad night (590)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!

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  (309): i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!! http://tfl.nu/asa6
  Replies (51) Good night (7041) Bad night (749)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.

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  (701): I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America. http://tfl.nu/w2zj
  Replies (19) Good night (4310) Bad night (1302)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.

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  (612): Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing. http://tfl.nu/z54y
  Replies (15) Good night (750) Bad night (6888)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp

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  (513): you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp http://tfl.nu/1q8y
  Replies (23) Good night (4763) Bad night (722)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?

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  (860): what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday? http://tfl.nu/71tj
  Replies (32) Good night (4787) Bad night (984)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.

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  (603): He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was. http://tfl.nu/3v3c
  Replies (17) Good night (1452) Bad night (3577)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade

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  (802): Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade http://tfl.nu/ve1a
  Replies (22) Good night (1986) Bad night (3330)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  and you succeeded.

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  (919): The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk. (1-919): and you succeeded. http://tfl.nu/9cm4
  Replies (11) Good night (4422) Bad night (995)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.

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  (320): In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen. http://tfl.nu/m4s0
  Replies (9) Good night (3251) Bad night (619)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.

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  (423): It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling. http://tfl.nu/7h2p
  Replies (4) Good night (510) Bad night (1267)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc

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  (914): Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc http://tfl.nu/veqw
  Replies (0) Good night (413) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.

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  (843): She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative. http://tfl.nu/fw1n
  Replies (1) Good night (304) Bad night (503)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.

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  (870): I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong. http://tfl.nu/b6l6
  Replies (2) Good night (483) Bad night (249)

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