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• (816): View more from Missouri

  My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  it was average length and chubby

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  so kinda like him?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...

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• 

  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives

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• (325): View more from Texas

  I fcuked ip.

  (214): View more from Texas

  Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?

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• 

  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (561): View more from Florida

  Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!

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• (435): View more from Utah

  Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle

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• (315): View more from New York

  I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams

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