Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...