I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.