i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
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I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
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Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line