Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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