get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
