...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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